Training Dolphins

Okay, so I was used to doing all the work around the house (cooking, cleaning, fixing, etc., etc.) when Eric was in Iraq. The habit is still in me to continue to "do it all", only now with Eric home....my workload feels like it's QUADRUPLED. More dirty laundry to do, more food to buy and then cook, more messes to clean, and so on. It is my own fault that I have not been asking Eric to help....but he's not been offering.

Perhaps he's just not noticing.....it's not like I'm cleaning the toilets naked with a roast beef sandwich around my neck or anything.

With this extra workload though, I feel like I'm going a bit "Chihuahua". I may snap at any moment. It's not going to be pretty.

At this same time, I'm trying to be "a good wife" and I don't want to come across nagging or demeaning to my husband that I dearly love (I have been informed in the past by my other half that I have a tendency to do that) so I sought out the internet for guidance.

The best "Google" search I found was HOW TO MOTIVATE YOUR HUSBAND. Sounded good. Lots of reference sites popped up.

I tracked down quite a few informational sites, and they all followed the same advice path: MEN deep down are BOYS. Make him feel like a hero and that above all he is needed. Be incredibly loving and empowering in every opportunity. He is the big strong husband and he is required to save the day....blah, blah, blah, etc., etc.

I'm thinking "Are you effing serious? Justing flipping do what I tell you to do and do it right now! Why do I need to kiss your ass to do something that you needed to do to begin with? Uggghh!"

The amount of coddling that these websites say needs to occur for me to get the end result I want sounds like an enormous amount of time. Time enough that I could just do the extra work myself. But I didn't want to be stuck for the next 50 years of my life doing all the work. So I tried it.

So.....I had 4 different things going on in the kitchen, and had grab the step stool to reach something in a high cabinet. I went to slide the now folded step stool in it's place (between the wall and the refrigerator) which I have done many times before.....and it wouldn't slide in easily. The mop and broom were in the way.

As a training exercise....I called Eric into the kitchen. "Honey, I have dinner going right now and it's a crucial moment, could you please come over here and slide the step stool in? It would really help me a lot." I moved on to fill the sink with dishwater, turn down the crockpot, and test the banana bread in the oven.

He grumbly pauses his Zelda Wii game, and walks into the kitchen to the stool. In the most ego-manical cocky voice he says..."Babe, come here. Come here! Geezuz THIS is what you wanted?" He takes his hand and brushes the mop and broom to the side and easily slides the step stool in. "A damn trained dolphin could do that! What the hell is wrong with you?"

MOTHEREFFER!